When someone asks you for sex, and you don't want to, it's OK to say 'no'.
In some situations it can be difficult - the other person might be persuasive or pushy. Sometimes you might worry about offending or upsetting them. It can seem like the most difficult thing in the world to do. You worry about how they'll feel. Are you letting them down? Have you led them on? What if they finish with you because you said no? Will other people find out?
Whatever the situation, it is your choice whether to have sex - and you have the right to say no.
If you're with someone who really cares about you, they will be prepared to wait. If they're not, you're probably better off without them!
Here are some different ways you can say no...
- Repeat the word 'No' several times, until they get it.
- Suggest you do something else instead.
- Say you're not interested or ready for sex.
- Act shocked by the suggestion.
- Ignore the suggestion - change the subject.
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- Walk away.
- Say bluntly 'No, I don't want to'.
- If you have had sex before don't let the other person use this to bully you into it now, just because you have done it before doesn't mean you have to do it everytime you are asked.
- Tell the other person how you feel about them and be honest. If you don't feel close enough to them yet, say so. If you really love them but aren't interested in sex, say so.
- If the other person says "If you loved me you'd do it" line, retort with "If you loved me you'd wait". Sex is not a test of your love or feelings for another person and saying "No" to sex does not mean you have failed to show your love.
Remember if you've been drinking you're more vulnerable to being pushed into something you wouldn't ordinarily do. So be extra careful!
Here are a few ways to show someone you love them:
- Kiss
- Hold hands
- Cuddle
- Snuggle up together
- Share your dreams
- Give or get a hug
- Make sure the other person feels important and respected
- Compliment each other
- Flirt with each other
- Make each other laugh
- Have a request played on the radio
- Have your picture taken together
One of the biggest struggles in relationships is boredom.
If you're fed up of just 'hanging out' together and want something a bit more fun, have a look at our 100 Date Ideas.
There's bound to be something you haven't tried!
