If you want to stop being a bully

You have made the right move by reading this. Recognising that your behaviour has caused others to feel hurt and unhappy is a big thing to do but it's also the best thing you could have done. Putting matters right won't always be easy but it can be done. You might need some help along the way.

Bullies aren't always nasty or unpleasant people. Sometimes they have had bad or unhappy times in their lives which cause them to take it out on others. They might be feeling angry or sad about something that has happened and their behaviour towards others becomes hurtful.

Some people who have bullied say that they feel better when they see others hurt and upset. They say they like the feeling of power they get when they know they've frightened someone. It's even better if others are watching. But there comes a time when the bully has to face up to the fact that their behaviour is totally unacceptable. Sometimes they are shocked into realising how much harm they have caused to others, especially if their victim is seriously hurt as a result of the bullying.

Bullies need to understand why they behave they do. Talking to a counsellor can help. Teachers will offer help in school so that bullies can change their behaviour for the better. It is possible to stop bullying.

• Arrange to talk to someone, a teacher, parent, carer or counsellor. Be honest, accept that what you have to do won't be easy but you' re prepared to make changes

• Adults who have worked with people who bully, have ideas that can help them to change their behaviour for the better. These ideas are worth listening to

• Agencies such as Childline ( www.childline.org.uk) and Kidscape ( www.kidscape.org.uk) can offer exactly the kind of help that's needed

• There is never a reason to justify bullying. Hurting others because of their differences is wholly unacceptable and must be stopped. If you want to stop bullying you must be prepared to own up to it and seek help.